Running in Circles: Are You Caught in the Cycle of Avoidance and Self-Sabotage?
Jul 08, 2025We all experience pain—emotional, physical, spiritual. But what we do with that pain shapes the entire course of our lives.
Maybe you’ve felt it, too. That sense of burnout from always trying to hold it all together. That quiet ache that shows up at the end of a long day—the kind you can’t quite explain. Maybe you’ve noticed yourself scrolling endlessly, overworking, people-pleasing, or chasing perfection in hopes it might finally silence the discomfort within.
For years, I didn’t see what was happening in my own life. I didn’t have a substance addiction, so I assumed I was fine. But I was addicted—to performance, control, and being seen a certain way. I used “success” as a shield to protect myself from pain I didn’t yet know how to process.
This kind of numbing isn’t always dramatic. In fact, it’s often quiet, socially acceptable, even praised. But that doesn’t make it any less damaging. It can leave you feeling disconnected, exhausted, and stuck in a cycle that feels impossible to escape.
In my new book Unstuck: Break Free from What’s Holding You Back and Create a Life You Love, I devote an entire chapter to this very thing—the hidden cycle of avoidance and self-sabotage that keeps so many of us from stepping fully into the lives we were created for. The chapter is called “Running in Circles,” and it exposes how trauma reshapes our brain, how we develop coping strategies to survive, and how those same strategies quietly sabotage our future if we’re not careful.
Here’s the truth: the brain is wired to seek comfort and avoid pain. That’s not a flaw—it’s survival. But left unchecked, it leads to patterns that soothe us in the moment but steal from us long-term. We keep chasing relief instead of healing, and over time, we confuse numbness with peace.
Sound familiar?
I share neuroscience-backed insight into what’s actually happening in the brain and body when we’re stuck in these loops. And I share parts of my own journey—how I broke free, not overnight, but through daily choices to get curious, sit with discomfort, and stop running.
The good news? It’s not too late to rewrite the story. You don’t have to keep circling the same mountain of avoidance and pain. Awareness is the first step—and from there, healing becomes possible.
If this resonates, Unstuck was written for you. Because you deserve more than survival. You deserve to feel safe in your own body, confident in your choices, and deeply connected to who you really are—not who you’ve had to be to protect yourself.
I won’t give away the whole chapter here (there’s a powerful emotion regulation tool waiting for you in the pages), but I will leave you with a gentle invitation:
Pause. Reflect. Ask yourself, “What am I trying to avoid?” And then—rather than numbing it—get curious.
This is how we begin again.
Unstuck is launching soon. Make sure to get your copy at the .99 launch price! You will recieve your copy to your kindle on July 30, 2025.
You’re not alone in this. And you’re not broken—you’re becoming.
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