Unlock the Power of Healthy Boundaries
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If you're ready to transform your life by establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, this comprehensive guide is for you. Gain insights and actionable strategies to enhance your emotional well-being, navigate challenging situations, and nurture fulfilling relationships.
Learn How To:
- Establish Boundaries
- Maintain Boundaries
- Navigate Life with Confidence
What’s included in the eBook?
- 37-page eBook
- Accompanying Worksheets and Audio
- Access to the Transformation Community
I was driving down the road alone in my car. I felt like I was going to explode. I was so sick of my voice being silenced or ignored in my home, my relationships, and my life in general.
I watched as a semi-truck rounded the corner heading my way. I considered veering into its path head-on…maybe it would end my pain. Instead, I gulped in a giant breath of air and screamed at the top of my lungs as the suffocating weight of feeling voiceless evaporated into the silence of the car.
I had been through a fair amount of hardships in my life, and from a young age, I’d felt like my voice didn’t matter. At age 15, I was coerced into a sexually abusive relationship with an older man. No matter how much I protested, my voice was ignored.
Therefore, I learned that my voice didn’t matter, and I silenced it for several years.
I had finally found my voice...
But only after a year and a half of being silenced. Things that are emotionally damaging, traumatic, or repeated create pathways of beliefs in your brain that run deep, and your mind constantly looks for proof of what it believes.
So my mind went looking for proof that I didn’t have a voice and had no value or worth, blocking out everything that said otherwise, no matter how obvious it was. And it found proof everywhere.
What followed was nearly two decades of pain and cycles of trying to numb the hurt in unhealthy ways, which inevitably created more pain. I didn’t yet know how to consistently honor myself by maintaining healthy boundaries.
Whenever I experienced hard things, rather than face them with strength and power, I avoided and ran away from them.
“You Deserve Respect and Kindness”
After turning in my abuser, at age sixteen I became pregnant. In that relationship, I found again that my voice was dismissed. The father of my child consistently said things that upset me and lowered my self-esteem, but refused to honor my requests to stop. He would tell me that it’s just the way guys talk.
Eventually, I got fed up and left the relationship. Over the next several years, when my requests continued to be ignored in any tough situation, my ultimate boundary would be to flee or sever the relationship.
A couple years after that I started dating an abusive narcissist. To be honest, I hadn’t even heard the word “narcissist” at the time, let alone any of the warning signs to look for. I didn’t learn about narcissism until after I’d left the relationship, which is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about educating women about it now.
This man was physically, emotionally, verbally, financially, and sexually abusive. He started small so I didn’t see it coming, but eventually broke me down until I thought I couldn’t make it on my own. He used gaslighting to manipulate me (if you don’t know what that means, please ask me or search the term!), and stalked me for almost two years after I left.
One night he drank an excessive amount of alcohol and turned on me, pinning me against the wall, and strangling me. This repeated for what seemed like hours until he held a knife to my throat, threatening to kill me. I believe it’s by God’s intervention that I made it out alive. I found out later that he’d hidden my keys and phone in case I tried to get help.
Years later, I would work through that night in EMDR therapy. The feeling of being completely powerless, voiceless, and worthless surfaced repeatedly until I started working with a coach who helped me find my voice, power, and worth again.
Throughout the entire six-year relationship, I had tried again and again in vain to use my voice. It wasn’t listened to. Eventually, I found the strength to enforce the ultimate boundary, and I fled.
My abuser then stalked for the next two years. Again I drew from my inner power, spoke up in court, and obtained a protective order. But although I was using my voice and found my power in bits and pieces, I was still a weak, insecure, people-pleasing victim.
After I finally left my abuser, I met a wonderful man, who helped show me what love really is. Happy ending, right? WRONG. See, I hadn’t learned how to enforce boundaries yet. And here’s the thing about boundaries. Until you learn how to set AND enforce them, your self-esteem, confidence, self-worth, value…whatever you want to call it…will be low.
SETTING BOUNDARIES RAISES SELF CONFIDENCE!
My husband, dealing with his own set of issues, started saying and doing things that triggered and retraumatized me. No matter how many times I tried to tell him, he wasn’t hearing me. For years I tried in vain to get him to respect my requests.
Until one day I found myself driving down the road screaming at the top of my lungs, and I broke. I’d had enough. But instead of breaking DOWN, I broke FREE. I went home and enforced the boundary I’d been trying to set. When he crossed my boundary again, I asked him to leave the house.
I’d made my decision based on his actions. And after that, he had a choice to make based on my decision.
Every person has a choice to make when someone implements boundaries:
Will they respect them? Or will they continue to cross them?
- My teenage abuser had continued to cross them, so I’d gone to the police.
- My son’s father had continued to overstep them, so I’d severed the relationship.
- My abuser had continued to ignore them, so I’d ultimately fled and obtained a stalking order.
- And now…my husband would decide if he’d disregard my requests like the others, or honor them.
This time my boundaries were honored. My husband was able to see that the problems were great enough for me to take big action.
He then chose to do the necessary work, and I’m thrilled to say that by the grace of God, today our marriage is stronger than most marriages I know ♥.
“Your Voice Matters.”
If you can relate to feeling like your voice doesn't matter or isn't listened to, I want to remind you that your voice is important! You matter, and what you think, feel, and want matters!
Have you ever:
- Felt like you’re powerless?
Walked on eggshells around certain people, trying not to upset them?
- Wanted to avoid going home because of the emotional stress?
- Felt like you don’t have enough time to do all that is expected of you?
- Felt burned out and overwhelmed?
- Ignored a gut feeling because you were worried about how you’d be perceived?
- Went out of your way to avoid conflict?
- Consistently said yes to things that you really wanted to say no to?
My mission is to help you take back your power, build confidence, create healthy, fulfilling relationships, and transform your life!
As we progress with coaching, you’ll realize:
- I have the power to change what I don’t like in my life.
- I don’t have to feel burned out, overwhelmed and powerless anymore.
- It feels good to set boundaries and find healthy relationships.
- I now look forward to coming home and finding peace within my space.
- I found my voice and feel strong and empowered when I have to talk through the hard things.
- Confronting the problem head-on instead of running away frees me and makes me feel confident.
- I am worthy, I have value, and I am enough.
I believe in the transformative power of hope, change, and inspiration. By sharing stories of resilience and growth, along with tools you can implement, I encourage you to believe in your potential for personal transformation, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
You are not alone in your struggles, and there is always a path to positive transformation and renewed hope.
“Take it One Step at a Time”
Episode 16: From Silence to Empowerment: Unmasking Toxic Ties & Setting Boundaries
In this enlightening conversation, coaches Rhea and Megan delve deep into navigating boundaries, rising above toxic relationships, and embarking on a transformative journey toward healing and personal growth. Together, they offer a profound perspective on establishing boundaries, seeking assistance, and uncovering purpose in the face of adversity.
"She just has a way of making you feel comfortable, seen, and loved."
I’ve opened up to Rhea about things that I’ve never told a soul, even my husband. She just has a way of making you feel comfortable, seen, and loved. And she doesn’t pretend to be perfect. She openly talks about the hard things in life that others often won’t touch. In doing so, she provides a safe place to open up. - Amy
EMPOWERING RELATIONSHIP BOUNDARIES:
Setting boundaries in a relationship is harder than just saying, “No,” especially when you’ve been taught to go with the flow or put others' needs before yours. So, how do I help you combat this? I use my own polarizing experiences and healing to help you mend or end your toxic relationships.
The benefit is that...I get it. We speak a very similar language. I went through it. The muck, the lack of boundaries to the enforcement, the healing, the learning.
I have formal training and certification in Domestic Abuse Advocacy, training at the Abuse Recovery Ministry Services (A.R.M.S), and am a leader for Her Journey Groups. I've coached women through difficult relationship issues, including relationships with significant others, parents, children, friends, and self. I also have expertise in Addiction, Thought Battles, Gaining Self-Confidence, Combatting Overwhelm, and Setting and Maintaining Boundaries.
When I’m not coaching, I continue my mission by speaking, podcasting, writing, leading church groups and trainings, reading numerous books, and continuing my education.
Learn more about our Unleashing Your Design for Life One-on-One Coaching Session.
private coaching testimonial
"I highly recommend anyone to work with Rhea if given the chance."
I was able to trust and open up to Rhea because she has been through some of the worst things you can imagine, but she never let it control her life or used it as an excuse for her problems. She has conquered and become the woman she is today because of those trials and lessons, and uses it to help others. I highly recommend anyone to work with Rhea if given the chance. But only if you're ready to take back your life. - April
TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP
If my coaching style resonates strongly with you for transforming your relationships...
Get in touch to schedule your Coaching Clarity Session: Recognize Barriers & Uncover Your Path to Success.
I understand that no one service fits all, and to ensure you get the best from me, an assessment is done to help me deliver my promise.
Based on your needs, I’m the best coach for you if you’re looking for healthy and active ways to enforce boundaries in your relationship or successfully end them.
The steps needed to transform your relationships are a discussion away!
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I look forward to the moment when clients
...realize that all their hard work is paying off. When they see that it’s working, and they can see the growth and change in themselves, their confidence, and their joy because of the boundaries they’ve implemented.
If you want to see if I’m the right coach for you, book your 20-minute Discovery Call!
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