00:00:06:03 - 00:00:37:09
Unknown
This episode discusses extreme abuse by family members, including physical, sexual and emotional abuse. It also covers sensitive topics like abortion and foster care. This content could be distressing and triggering for those with personal connections to these experiences. Prioritize your well-being and seek support if needed. If you or someone you know is in crisis, reach out for help. Call or text 988.
00:00:37:09 - 00:00:41:29
Unknown
Or chat at nine. Eight. Eight. Lifeline. Dot org.
00:00:41:29 - 00:01:19:28
Unknown
Welcome to It's your story to tell. I am so happy you are here with us today. And I feel very fortunate to have Dr. Shirley here with me today. And I'm really excited for what we're going to be talking about. And the topic today is about turning your pain into purpose. And in this life, we cannot avoid pain, but we can turn to God and learn from it and then use it in helping others.
00:01:19:28 - 00:01:45:07
Unknown
And so thank you for joining me, Dr. Shirley. I want to tell our audience a little bit about you and your background is long and amazing. So if I have to look at my notes, it's because you have such great experience here. So you're from Brooklyn, New York? Yes. And you are of Haitian descent. You are a wife and mother.
00:01:45:07 - 00:02:15:06
Unknown
You have a son, Jeremiah. And despite many trials that you encountered in your childhood and adult years, you retained your love and your passion for God. You have a mission to spread the love of Jesus Christ through your counseling, teaching and writing gifts. You're a nurse by trade who will go Nurses having completed a bachelor's and master's in nursing.
00:02:15:07 - 00:02:52:09
Unknown
You're currently pursuing your doctorate, girl. I do not know how you have time, but you also have a master's in theology, a doctor and practical ministry. You're the host of a podcast, an international radio show, a Word with Dr. Shirley, and that airs on all major platforms and Invision Broadcasting Radio Station Weekly, which for our listeners, we will make sure to link all of that so they know how to find you and listen to you because you are fire and you have some awesome guests that come on and talk about the Lord.
00:02:52:12 - 00:03:23:10
Unknown
You are a certified Christian counselor, specialized in grief, trauma, women's issues and relations shifts. You are a three time author, an international bestseller. I mean, I'm just getting tired thinking about how you have gotten all of this done. But you are a founder of the Beauty for Ashes Global, which is a nonprofit, faith based, faith based organization devoted to women's empowerment and spiritual growth.
00:03:23:12 - 00:03:52:18
Unknown
That is so exciting to me because that is my goal with the work that I'm doing, is that we can inspire and empower women to take whatever it is that they're faced with and use it for the glory of God. So thank you so much for joining us and honoring us with your presence and your gifts. And so tell us that's so much that you have accomplished in your life.
00:03:52:21 - 00:04:19:01
Unknown
And I'm sure you wouldn't be on here talking about pain into purpose if that didn't come without some trials. So tell us a little bit about your journey from. Sure. Yeah, right. The foremost thing and please let me say thank you so much for the honor of being on your platform. I absolutely love what you do. I love your platform.
00:04:19:01 - 00:04:39:29
Unknown
It's amazing. You are transforming lives and continue to do what you do. You're such a blessing. And I'm really glad that the Lord, you know, allowed us to cross the path. I believe that you're one of those divine connections for me and that our journey is not just going to be us, you know, being on each other's podcast.
00:04:39:29 - 00:05:10:00
Unknown
But I believe that, you know, we are going to be friends for some time to come. So it's an honor to be here. Thank you so much. You are. And yes, as you were, it's you know, it's almost every time I hear someone read my bio back to me, I'm like, wow, okay, how did that happen? Because I you know, when I look back over my life, I just see I see all the trials.
00:05:10:00 - 00:05:30:07
Unknown
I see the mountains that I had to climb, the hills. I see the valleys, I see the tears. I see the toil. I see the agony. I see all the things that I've had to overcome to get here. Most times I'm not necessarily celebrating the wins. I'm still constantly thinking about what I had to go through to get here.
00:05:30:07 - 00:06:07:05
Unknown
And so that was a good word because today in my devotion time, I was just praying through a trial and saying like, Lord, I need your favor. And then I was talking to my mom and I was like, you know, I think I'm believing too small and I'm really I'm wanting God to show up in a abundance. And then we started talking about all the things that God has shown up and done.
00:06:07:07 - 00:06:35:13
Unknown
And I was so convicted in that moment because I was like, You have been abundant. Like, who am I? I'm like, sitting here not even acknowledging how a binding you have shown up in my life. Because like you're saying, I don't know how I got here. And he reminded me, Yeah, that was me. I carry do this. There's no other way.
00:06:35:13 - 00:06:54:01
Unknown
There's no other way. When I look back over my life and as I'm going to take you through, you know, my journey a little bit, I could only for the sake of time, give you a brief overview, a little snippet of my testimony, because it is so long, it has so many ups and downs and, you know, it just so much.
00:06:54:03 - 00:07:23:03
Unknown
But I tried my best to find the highlights to share. And so here we go. So from a child, my journey as far back as I can remember, I came my first real memory of my childhood was just the feeling of being rejected and abandoned by my father, who was physically abusive towards my mother before he officially left the scene.
00:07:23:03 - 00:07:54:20
Unknown
You know, I just vividly remember him abusing her physically and verbally. And so for most of my life, you know, I saw my mother. My mother was basically a single parent. My dad left the scene very early on. And since his departure from the home, probably I was maybe four or five. That's when my nightmare began. Because in the absence of my father, like I said, my mother was left to raise me as a single parent.
00:07:54:22 - 00:08:14:25
Unknown
I was the only female in the midst of all my siblings. They were all males. They were all older than me. And you would think, as most people assume when they find out that I'm the only female in the midst of tons of brothers, they're like, Oh, you were spoiled. You were protected. Not so. No, My home was very, very abusive environment.
00:08:14:28 - 00:08:54:02
Unknown
I experienced verbal, physical, sexual abuse from many of my childhood years. I was molested repeatedly from the ages of 9 to 14 by several men in my family and also friends of the family. As a result of all of those repeated molestations I was in pregnancy twice and forced to secretly abort those pregnancies. As you can only imagine, I contemplated suicide until the day when I was maybe about 14.
00:08:54:04 - 00:09:19:02
Unknown
I broke my silence and this was the day, interestingly enough, my worst abuser, because like I said, there were several abusers and they lived in my household. A moment, a multiple of them, many of them. But the worse one who lived in my household as well. This was the day that he he threatened my life and he said, this is today's going to be your last day on Earth.
00:09:19:05 - 00:09:41:00
Unknown
Right. And he he was the abuser that became so obsessed with me that he eventually claimed me as his wife. And he told me if I ever told anyone how he was abusing me or treating me, that he would kill me and if I would ever try to leave him also, he would kill me. And so this was a day, like I said, at 14 years old, he told me would be my last day on earth.
00:09:41:02 - 00:10:14:12
Unknown
And so that particular day he angrily attempted to throw me out of a five story of the window of a five story building and almost succeeded, except by the grace of God. The window was jammed shut. Wow. And so I look back and I know there was God, so the window was jammed shut. He couldn't open it. And so because of all of the commotion at that point, I'm screaming for my life because I'm in a random apartment building that he had basically chased me into.
00:10:14:14 - 00:10:35:24
Unknown
And so with all the noise, you know, neighbors begin to come outside to see what was going on. And as he was sort of arguing with a neighbor who was trying to figure out what he was doing with me, I made a run for it. And as I managed to run for it, I decided not to leave the building because he had a car and I had on high heels.
00:10:35:24 - 00:10:55:18
Unknown
Me I just imagine the scene of him tracking me down much quicker because I would be able to run fast with the heels. So I decided to sit under the the staircase and hide there for as long as I could, as I heard him leave the building. And I begin to, you know, have all these scenarios in my mind of what my next steps should be, what they would be.
00:10:55:21 - 00:11:21:18
Unknown
And so eventually this led me to knock on a random person's door and tell them everything that had happened, all the abuse that I had endured at home. And they called the cops. The cops came. I told them my story. This eventually led from me to me being taken from home by police in a group home, then a foster home while I was in the foster home.
00:11:21:18 - 00:11:44:14
Unknown
This is where I was given my first packet, New Testament Bible. I don't know if you remember those, but yeah, I do. Listen, that little pocket Bible was everything to me because this was my first real spiritual encounter with God. You know, I begin to read that that Bible and feel a sense of hope so that, okay, maybe things are going to get better for me.
00:11:44:14 - 00:12:12:11
Unknown
And, you know, there is a there's a light at the end of this tunnel. And so soon after that experience, I was sent to live with my godmother and my godmother is really where everything changed for me. So I have my you know, like I said, my little encounter with the a small pocket New Testament Bible. And now I'm living with my godmother, who is a warrior Prayer warrior is a woman of God, and she goes to church multiple times a week.
00:12:12:11 - 00:12:34:08
Unknown
I mean, she's at 8:00 service, 11:00 service Monday night prayer meeting went Tuesday night, Wednesday night Bible study. And of course, at that point, I hated it as a teenager. And I'm struggling with my trauma. I'm not really understanding this religious thing that I see happening with my mother, but I have to go through the motions every way she went.
00:12:34:11 - 00:12:57:25
Unknown
I had to go. And so through her mentorship, she taught me how to be a wife. She taught me how to be a mom. She taught me how to pray, how to seed. I mean, I just all of my spiritual disciplines was birthed at her home. And so unfortunately, not long after my time with her, maybe a year into being with her, she passed away of cancer.
00:12:57:25 - 00:13:41:20
Unknown
I didn't even know she was sick, to be honest. And so that was another promise for me, because really, she was my everything. She was my light. She was just everything to me. And so but I thank God that it seemed as though I was her last assignment. Or maybe her assignment. I don't know. But I thank God for everything that she was able to deposit into me because, you know, through her, like I said, all my spiritual disciplines, I mean, I was there for multiple services in a week, you know, then I became very, very active in my in the church that I ended up being a member at as a teenager.
00:13:41:20 - 00:14:09:02
Unknown
Youth choir almost. I joined almost every ministry. I just dove in and begin to serve until I could serve no more. But I'll say this while I found Christ at 15, because eventually, you know, at 15 I officially gave my heart to the Lord at one Tuesday night prayer meeting while with my grandmother. I can honestly say that I held on more to my religion than I did him.
00:14:09:04 - 00:14:44:00
Unknown
And still I say this because I tried to bury my trauma and all the side effects of my pain behind my religion. Wow. That's so I think that is so important to highlight that even really positive things like Jesus can be escapes and keeping us from our full potential, which, you know, you wouldn't think like I'm serving the Lord, I'm doing all of these things.
00:14:44:02 - 00:15:11:16
Unknown
How is that bad? But when it's keeping you from going and doing that work of the healing that needs to take place, even something good can get in the way of that. So I am so thankful that you're sharing that. Yes, absolutely. And so needless to say, my religion failed. Okay. So I became a very active in, like I said, in church activities.
00:15:11:16 - 00:15:36:02
Unknown
I serve faithfully. I was an usher. I was a praise and worship leader. I was a choir member. I was a choir director. I was a present for a dance instructor. Intercessor, then women's ministry leader. Like I said, I did everything that I could. Okay? And so here I am serving until I can't serve anymore. So while I'm serving in the ministry, I am in the church from like 15 on.
00:15:36:04 - 00:16:01:08
Unknown
And it gets to the point where I'm of the age to, you know, be joined to a Boaz, because, you know, at that point, you know, my, my circle every, every, you know, young lady, she's believing God for her. She's believing that for the man that's going to sort of, you know, swipe right of her feet and then I ended up just like my mother.
00:16:01:10 - 00:16:30:08
Unknown
Okay. So the cycle came right back around. I find myself in the same predicament my mother was in as a struggling single mother, having been abused physically and emotionally by my son's father, I was absolutely devastated because you can you can only imagine those those years. For me, from 15 to 23, they were like my golden years. They were the years that I was just passionately, you know, serving God and believe with God for the best possible outcomes.
00:16:30:08 - 00:17:06:22
Unknown
Because my childhood was so horrific. The only thing I looked forward to was a brighter day. And so I thought that brighter Day was going to come with my Boaz was going to be right, and so did happen. So I didn't find my boys of my son's father ended up a single mother abuse use, wanting to join, then made a second attempt at finding love again with a again a so-called because these I have to be clear that these were men that were categorized as men of God.
00:17:06:22 - 00:17:30:11
Unknown
They were not. I did not find them in the club. I did not, you know, was on a dating app like these were men that I found while serving in the ministry, while on the toil, while toiling for the Lord. I found them and they appear to be. Boaz is right. They they appeared to be everything that any woman of God would want in a man.
00:17:30:14 - 00:18:01:08
Unknown
And so my second attempt, like I said, with this so-called man of God, only I, I did the second attempt only to end up being battered near to the point near the point of death. I was battered near the point of death where my while my son witnessed the whole thing. I'm so sorry for both of you. That's.
00:18:01:10 - 00:18:34:05
Unknown
Yeah. And not that it's worse or better, but like, when you think someone's safe and you open yourself up and you become vulnerable, and that is what happens. The fact that you have been able to hold on to Jesus is remarkable, which is my next point. So after that horrific experience, I made a run again for my life.
00:18:34:10 - 00:19:13:26
Unknown
So I constantly find myself on the run. I made another one, but this time I went straight to the arms of Jesus and not just another man. Yes, I didn't want to cope with my pain. I wanted to heal from it. There's a difference, right? And so often times people run to the it could be a relationship, it could be numbing agents, it could be a counselor, it could be whatever mode of treatment or healing that they think they need aside from Jesus, because only Jesus can heal, which I talk about in a minute.
00:19:13:28 - 00:19:40:02
Unknown
So, yeah, I made a decision that I wasn't just going to cope with it, I wasn't going to carry my baggage. It's everywhere I went that sunk it. I mean, I'm sitting here and I'm like a feeling like, you're reading chapters of my book, you know, like my own personal life. Not that I have a book yet, but because very similarly, you know, I had two relationships.
00:19:40:05 - 00:20:16:05
Unknown
There had been abuse in my younger years, not by well, there was a family, actually, but more so not family. But I didn't feel worthy. And I no matter, I loved Jesus from the time I accepted him into my heart at five and I wanted to serve him and I. But there was something inside of me because of the abuse that was like, I'm second class.
00:20:16:05 - 00:21:11:05
Unknown
Like, you know, I've not saved myself for marriage because I was abused. And so then that makes me less than and that belief allowed me to attract into my life, even in places of the church, Christian college, like attract people who treated me in a way that was aligned with what I felt good enough for. And it wasn't until I ran to Jesus and worked out my healing and going back into that past that, then I was able to see myself like Jesus sees me.
00:21:11:07 - 00:21:34:23
Unknown
Yes, honestly, it was the love of God that became my lifeline and my saving grace. It took me years to believe that he loved me. I'll be honest, it took me years to get to this point. There's still days where I'm like, really like in this situation and things that I'm praying about, you know, I'm like, Why are you wanting to use me?
00:21:34:23 - 00:22:00:15
Unknown
Am I really qualified? And he's like, Yes, you're qualified because of this. Not because of you, but because of what I put inside of you and how I'm going to use this, you know? And it's like, okay, it's not about me. So yeah. And so not only did it take me years to believe that he loved me, but also to allow him to remove that the reproach of my past.
00:22:00:15 - 00:22:26:28
Unknown
Because with every failed relationship, with every, you know, everything that went wrong, it was just added an added burden. It was just an added piece of luggage. You know, that It's like I already had all this trauma from my childhood that I really hadn't fully laid down at the cross. I carried it with me all these years into my adulthood, and now my adulthood is giving me its own set of trauma.
00:22:27:00 - 00:23:02:01
Unknown
Right? Right. Yeah. No, it's like the you. When trauma happens. And then because of the changes that take place in your beliefs, you then find yourself continually retraumatized. And then I don't know about you, but for me, that further created my shame that then me, you know, the cycle just then continues, repeats you, pass it down. You know, my kids saw abuse in and I had to run and leave and all of that too.
00:23:02:01 - 00:23:26:16
Unknown
And it was because my kids saw it finally. Yeah. That it made me realize like, what are you doing to them? Like, I didn't love myself enough right at that point to change. But when I saw that they were fighting for me and my son stepped in in the middle of it and it turned around on him, that that was it.
00:23:26:17 - 00:23:52:27
Unknown
No more like you can't do that to somebody. Yeah. I don't even want to get into that part of it. You know, when the abuse turned to I mean, that's every mother's worst nightmare, right? To have to watch your, you know, predator prey on your own child and feel so defenseless about it. But that's another story for me, you know?
00:23:53:00 - 00:24:15:07
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, I kept rehearsing my pain over and over in my mind, convincing myself I wasn't lovable or capable of doing anything significant. You know, again, these are all the things I'm thinking about, even as you were going through my my, like, well, like, I just most of that time, I felt so unlovable, unworthy of significant.
00:24:15:07 - 00:24:46:03
Unknown
I'm capable of doing anything that was worth telling. And, you know, but despite all of that, God revealed to me that despite the pressures of my life and my fiery trials, that I was still his precious gem, that I was a precious gem in his sight. And I remember the day when that just like revealed that to me and to Scripture and showed me like, just like any precious stone goes through, you know, the process of being refining by fire.
00:24:46:05 - 00:25:13:03
Unknown
But they come like gold or diamond. You know, when you think about the metals that we treasure, these metals, they have to go through fire all over and turn over and over. And so this began to really shift my perspective on my pain and my trials. And God gave me another set of lens because one of the things that trauma will do, it will completely shift your outlook on life.
00:25:13:05 - 00:25:36:01
Unknown
You know, you begin to see everything through the eyes of that trauma until you heal, right? You're not able to see things or people clearly or even yourself. And so when God revealed to me that I was his precious gems and that my intrinsic value was attached to my identity in him, but not what I had gone through, this was the game changer for me.
00:25:36:03 - 00:26:02:12
Unknown
He revealed to me that I was his masterpiece and that became the first. My first book was called The Masters of Peace. All Yeah, the Masters. I love that play on words in there. Yeah, it just because it was just so at that point in my life, that was basically what God was really ministering to me. And I wanted to give that to others, to readers, particularly women.
00:26:02:12 - 00:26:27:08
Unknown
That was my target audience. And again, with him calling me his masterpiece, he was basically telling me that all of that I was his masterpiece, rather that all of my life events would somehow work together for my good. Because one of the imagery of my book is a potter and clay, right? And so you just see a hand representing the hand of God molding this clay.
00:26:27:10 - 00:26:48:27
Unknown
And so he was showing me how, you know, me being pottery in his hand, you know, the ugly moments, the rough moments, the moments where it was fiery, it was messy. I didn't understand. But the whole time I was in his hands, the whole time it was working for my good, the whole time he saw the end result.
00:26:48:27 - 00:27:11:20
Unknown
Because God sees the end from the beginning. He declares it from the beginning. Right. And so that for me was everything. When once I realized that I was God's masterpiece, that nothing could find itself to my doorstep without going through him, that everything he allowed was for my good and his glory. And he knew how in the end he would use it, which he's doing that today.
00:27:11:20 - 00:28:16:04
Unknown
So that is so powerful. It's hard when you're going through it and trying to find that heavenly perspective on it, because in the midst you're just, oh, but very much like you when you have that encounter with Jesus and you can start seeing it through his eyes and, you know, for people who are listening and struggling and feeling like no hope and how am I ever going to be used and shame and disappointment with your life, I just encourage you to pick up his word and look for things about who he created you to be, because I had to put those verses in the affirmation actions because I didn't think that way.
00:28:16:06 - 00:28:49:28
Unknown
And so as you're going on this journey and you're recognizing that your thoughts are not the way Jesus sees you, because if they do not align with like the fruits of the Spirit, that's what the Lord gave me. Love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, self-control. Then you need to delete, deprogram and put some truth back into your mind. And so finding those words that you can then remind yourself and it takes time.
00:28:49:28 - 00:29:14:28
Unknown
Like you said, this is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. I mean, I think God can heal us overnight, but it it's something that we have to work out. God already declared it. It is done, but it's us that keeps us from the break through. And so we have to partner with him. We have to do our work and walk it out.
00:29:15:02 - 00:29:36:27
Unknown
Right. And that's the hard part. Absolutely. I mean, in terms of, you know, if I think about my journey and how did I navigate all of that pain, how in the world and I navigate it honestly, I can say it was a combination of things, combination of prayer, combination of fasting, worship, freezed, keeping myself occupied with the work and the things of that.
00:29:36:27 - 00:30:09:07
Unknown
But it was even though, you know, like I said, I had buried all of, you know, my trauma behind my religion, but serving in the sense of, you know, taking my eyes off of myself and focusing on others, that was a huge conduit for healing for me because I was really able while I was serving, I was able to take, like I said, take my eyes off of my wounds and realize that they were not my response, my walls were not my responsibility, but they were God's so good.
00:30:09:07 - 00:30:33:01
Unknown
That's like the heading of my website is the wound is not my responsibility, but the healing. I mean, I say the healing is but that healing is not something you can do alone act Correct. And so the moment I looked up for my pain, you know, stop looking at my wound, stop having my little pity party. Why me?
00:30:33:01 - 00:30:51:17
Unknown
Woe is me. I saw a whole world around me filled with others who were in pain just like me, or in some cases, worse. Yeah, and they needed a helping hand. And so God showed me all of these people that need a helping hand. And he's at the same time putting a burden on my heart to help them.
00:30:51:19 - 00:31:20:29
Unknown
Sort of, like I said, helping me to heal through service. That became just monumental for me, right? This allowed me to become a youth leader at some point and became a mentor and intercessor, women's ministry leader, and even a leader in corporate America because I just had such a burden for helping people and helping people navigate their pain, helping people navigate going from one level to the next.
00:31:20:29 - 00:31:48:00
Unknown
I was all about helping people get to their next place, right? Whether that meant, you know, help them navigate their pain, helping them to see that God had more in store and never to settle and always to push to be God's version, to be the best selves or to be the version of themselves that God wanted them to be, which is always going to be their best selves.
00:31:48:00 - 00:32:21:00
Unknown
Right? Because most people that I met had always settle for less than what God had for them. Oh yeah. I mean, if we've read the promises and all that he has said he wants for our lives, we do not access such a small percentage because it's hard to believe that big, and especially when you've had trauma, you've had pain because you don't have any comparison to think, Oh, that's possible.
00:32:21:02 - 00:32:46:23
Unknown
And then as you begin to heal, as you begin to step out in faith, putting your fears aside, believing about what God has for you, as you continue to do the work, you start to believe more and more like what is possible because God is unlimited. It doesn't matter what our past is, He can use it. And and that's hard for us sometimes to believe.
00:32:46:26 - 00:33:07:04
Unknown
There's days I still struggle. I have imposter syndrome where I feel like, why me, God, I'm not good enough. Or I don't really want to do this today because I don't want to be vulnerable and I don't want to share my story. I, I struggle with perfectionism and, you know, one to be seen a certain way. And you're asking me to do this like, wow.
00:33:07:04 - 00:33:29:20
Unknown
And I mean, we could just do a separate session on just the effects of the trauma and the things that we try to hide behind or cover up or, you know, act like they don't exist. You're like, I cry. Earlier today, I heard a live someone was doing and, you know, she was just talking about her journey with, I guess, imposter syndrome.
00:33:29:20 - 00:33:55:23
Unknown
But she didn't call it that. She just sort of talked about how, you know, in her industry of acting, she would find herself constantly switching where she was, walking into the room pretending to be someone else before they even gave her a character, because she just felt she wasn't good enough. And I begin to think of myself and my mom does not sound familiar, right?
00:33:55:25 - 00:34:18:15
Unknown
Well, and that's the thing. We're human and this is part of our nature. And so as we increase our awareness, it's not shame, but the Lord over reveal like, hey, you know, you're talking down to yourself. You're you're not seeing yourself the way I see you. You're not an imposter. And it will be brought, I mean, brought to your attention, and then you can recognize it, right?
00:34:18:15 - 00:34:46:16
Unknown
Because we can't change what we fail to recognize. And then when we recognize it, that opens the door to just use it. Because no one is perfect here. I thought you were. I tried to believe that over a long time. And from the outside it might look that and everything behind the scenes was falling apart. So just acknowledging where we are in our journey is so, so important to be able to then shift the narrative.
00:34:46:18 - 00:35:17:16
Unknown
And you did recorded such an amazing shift in your narrative and now you know you are making such a difference. So tell me a little bit how your ministry then came to be and what you're doing now with your podcast and speaking in books like How did you get there? It's a journey. It was a journey, but I would say it started like I said after, you know, I came to do it at 15.
00:35:17:16 - 00:35:44:28
Unknown
So it started really as a youth, me being in the youth choir and just, you know, being around other young people who were of like mind, like same faith, same heart, same mind. And I began to come into what I didn't know, what spiritual gifts were. So with with all my experimenting and joining everything, it looked like it seemed like I enjoyed everything there was to join every club in the church I joined.
00:35:45:00 - 00:36:07:01
Unknown
And through that journey of just, you know, like I said, being involved in everything, I begin to tap into what my spiritual gifts were and and look for ways to be in intention, personally use them to serve others. And so I always had this heart to serve. It didn't matter. I never I was never a person that cared about titles.
00:36:07:01 - 00:36:30:14
Unknown
And and I was very, very shy because of all of that trauma. And I always thought that I belonged in the back. I didn't have anything that was worth being a present. Trauma definitely takes your voice, right? And especially because you're told, Keep it quiet. Oh yeah. And that is so hard to bring your voice forward. Oh, my goodness.
00:36:30:14 - 00:37:01:14
Unknown
And there's still this still two of the people that molested me. I still have not publicly aired yet. Right. And so there's still I'm still in that journey of unleashing, you know, my voice and learning how to voice my pain in that sense. And so I sort of developed this sensitivity for others that were, you know, broken and going through their own sort of trauma.
00:37:01:16 - 00:37:29:04
Unknown
And so I found myself realizing that, wait a minute, the one lesson that I learned through all of the things that I had went through was that God was a healer, All right? Like, that was the one thing that God taught me. And so while we might, you know, we take medication and we use alternative modes of therapy to bring healing to ourselves, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, ultimate, those things might numb the pain, but it is only God that heals.
00:37:29:06 - 00:37:58:25
Unknown
And so with that understanding that God heals, I begin to look for ways to like, usher healing into the lives of other people, me and through nursing. That was easy because relief literally I would, you know, be praying for patients, praying with starve. And you know, in the early phases of my my journey of course, with their approval or if they if I didn't ask for their approval, I was doing at my heart, you know, just believing God to bring healing to them, mentally telling to their bodies.
00:37:58:27 - 00:38:29:20
Unknown
It was just such it was so powerful. There's so many testimonies from my for my career on the career front. But then in terms of actual ministry, what I realized was my target audience, although I had a passion for youth because I started as a youth leader, my my real target was women, because I realized that everything that I had been through in my life really got me to the place where I could say, like Whitney Houston, I'm every woman, right?
00:38:29:20 - 00:38:53:05
Unknown
Because I just literally I felt like I could connect to any woman. I mean, I as a mom, as a wife, as a business, as a business executive, as a ministry leader, as someone who had been abuse, as someone who had been battered, ostracized, like, you name it, you know, whatever struggles a woman could have felt like I went through it.
00:38:53:07 - 00:39:21:27
Unknown
Well, the Lord was equipping you through all those things. Right? And I you know, I, I really believe the Lord has a special place for women to bring healing to the nation and to break the cycle. We have that power to allow God to work through us, heal us. But then when we do that, that healing gets passed down.
00:39:22:05 - 00:39:49:19
Unknown
So we have a choice. We can pass down brokenness and and there is so much brokenness in the world. And I do believe, like right in this time that we're at, that women are standing up and saying no more, you know, and sharing their stories just like this to say, let's talk about it. Right. Because we can't heal what we don't talk about and it's okay to talk about it.
00:39:49:19 - 00:40:18:06
Unknown
We're going to destigmatize abuse in whatever it is that you faced and the shame so that we can heal it. And so I, I believe that God is doing something so big in just you sharing your story. The women who come on my podcast and I hope that it's helping other women feel confident in owning their story so that they can then change it.
00:40:18:08 - 00:40:54:12
Unknown
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And so coupled with my passion to, you know, be around women, empower women, encourage women, inspire women, I developed I didn't realize that I had this secret passion for traveling. Right. So I discovered probably past 5 to 6 years, I had discovered my passion for traveling the globe. And I realized that traveling for me, it became each trip became more and more spiritual because as I would travel, I would encounter God in ways that were just it just always made me not want to leave the not want to get on a plane and come back home.
00:40:54:12 - 00:41:18:12
Unknown
Like every time there was something so supernatural that happened. Every time I got on a plane, I found myself going to up to 11 countries in the past five years. And so through that, through all of those trips, what began to happen was God began to give me a global vision for the ministry and begin to I would find myself interceding for women in Pakistan, women in the Middle East, women.
00:41:18:12 - 00:41:38:14
Unknown
And, you know, when I went to Jerusalem, I mean, just all the different places that I went, I would just find myself like having a heart and a burden for the women in those countries and even countries that I had never been to. I found myself traveling in prayer for them. And so I realized, okay, this is way bigger than I thought it was.
00:41:38:14 - 00:42:04:18
Unknown
And so that's when really God birth beauty, ferocious global fight, because he began to show me that, you know, what he did for me, which was exchange. You know, my ash is for his beauty. He wanted me to give that same gift to other women and across the globe. And so when I launched to organization, I was a little bit nervous because I was thinking, this vision is so much bigger than me.
00:42:04:18 - 00:42:29:26
Unknown
I literally see myself partnering with women across the globe, but where am I going to meet these women? You know, I said to the goddess that, I mean, listen, I think about that problem. I just say, Yeah, well, yeah, so but in the beginning I was like, this is this doesn't make sense. I was like, you know, let me just stay with my little local ministry and just be happy.
00:42:29:29 - 00:42:52:18
Unknown
But it just, it just would eat me up. It was like God was just giving me this vision. Like, you're going to have a team, a global team, and the ministry is going to be global. One thing led to another and now, you know, the ministry. You know, I have a team of women from Australia, UK, Senegal, Nigeria, I mean, and Jamaica, and we're still growing.
00:42:52:18 - 00:43:16:17
Unknown
And I'm like, God, you really did it. Yeah, right, right. He just needed a willing vessel that he could work through. Right. Is that he's, he's able. Oh my goodness. But are we really? Are we really. Yes. Yes. And so I learned how to say yes and just trust him to do the rest. And he's been doing it.
00:43:16:17 - 00:43:52:28
Unknown
And so, you know, the ministry, again, we have a passion and a bird and an assignment to reach women across the globe and promote healing, promote soul restoration. You know, we have a heavy focus on outreach and evangelism. We did our first major outreach in Nigeria last month that was so successful. We fed over 100 widows, women homeless, ministered to them, encouraged them, and so many testimonies came back that I spent two days weeping after that assignment.
00:43:52:28 - 00:44:14:23
Unknown
After that, after that launch, I cried and I cried and cried because just to see it and to see it come to pass with as little resources as we have, because we didn't have that much resources to weave in launched a project but had a lot of faith. They have a lot of resources. I had a lot of faith and I was like, I don't care if we feed two people, we're doing this right.
00:44:14:23 - 00:44:37:04
Unknown
And so we were able to feed, like I said, over 100 homeless families, widows and get their testimonies. And the testimonies were powerful. And now we're on a mission to keep going. We're doing our next outreach in Nigeria of Back to School will be in the fall. Our next country that we're working on is Senegal. We're going to do that next for our outreach.
00:44:37:04 - 00:45:07:21
Unknown
And I'm just so excited about what God's doing that is. So I you know, when you said that we had little resources, but a lot of faith, I just God was like, see, that's all it takes is the faith, because I have all the resources. That's right. Right. And so how often is it, though, that we think, oh, I don't know, this just doesn't add up?
00:45:07:21 - 00:45:33:08
Unknown
Well, no, it doesn't because God wants to show up so that he can show off. It's not about what we're doing. It's about what he's doing. And if the resources were there and available, it wouldn't be as impactful. I mean, I think of the feeding of the 5000, right. It's a pretty amazing story because there were only a little bit that fed in multiply.
00:45:33:14 - 00:46:08:26
Unknown
If they had had a catering company that could feed 5000 people, it wouldn't even be a story, right? Yes, absolutely. And it's just the testimonies just keep rolling in like daily. God has connected me with women around the globe. They're impacted by and some of them are impacted by, you know, the ground ministry that we're doing. Some of them are impacted by whether it's the book books that they've read, podcasts, episodes that they've listened to, or they just see what I'm doing and they're just inspired by all that I'm doing.
00:46:08:26 - 00:46:36:05
Unknown
So it's just I'm getting so much feedback. It's a lot of them have me in tears and I'm like, God, thank you for this. Because, you know, as humans, sometimes we especially, you know, we're our worst critics and we might all we see is what we have an accomplishment. We don't always see what we have accomplished. And so every now and then, when someone gives you their testimony of how you've impacted them and you've never even met them, you know, it just inspires you to keep going.
00:46:36:05 - 00:47:10:26
Unknown
And so. So how do women get involved in this ministry? And we will put links, but tell us a little bit about how they can connect with you, what they can do to partner with you. Absolutely. So first and foremost, the best place to go to learn about us and even look at opportunities for volunteering because we have several volunteering opportunities with the ministry, because we have such a global vision, we're looking to grow our team all the time.
00:47:10:28 - 00:47:44:18
Unknown
And so we the two major roles we have are small group leaders and global ambassador. So global ambassadors can be from any state in the U.S. or any country around the globe. So we have opportunities for global ambassadors. We opportunities for small group leaders right now, the small groups that are getting ready to launch our trauma and crisis kingdom finances, Marriage and Parenting Singles Day for the Single Ladies and Crochet Knitting.
00:47:44:18 - 00:48:23:02
Unknown
We have a Woman of God. Crochet knitting is her passion. And so we're looking for various ways to get women engaged, virtually connecting, sharing their gifts with one another and growing. So the website where all of that can be found is WW dot beauty for ashes and the all the words that spelled beauty for ashes dash global dot com so amazing I love that you have these special groups that you get involved with that are going to connect and meet you where you're at.
00:48:23:02 - 00:48:59:05
Unknown
I think you know part of my platform is community and creating community because you need people to meet you where you're at. And so having a group that you can get involved in and share your story and feel safe because they're willing to share theirs. And you know, when you do that campaign passion for yourself is gained. And I know like for a lot of people who are suffering from trauma, you were talking about like being your worst critics.
00:48:59:08 - 00:49:22:06
Unknown
I think women in general, we're hard on ourselves and we're wanting to get it right. And we don't have a lot of compassion. We don't take time to care for ourselves and nurture our souls. And so when we can get in these groups, be with other people, they can meet us where we're at. They can show us compassion and which then allows us to develop our own compassion for ourselves.
00:49:22:06 - 00:49:45:17
Unknown
And we get to show someone else compassion, which as you talked about, I've talked about sometimes it's a lot easier to do things for others than to do for yourself. But I think in that process of working it out, you learn how to do it and then it's like it gets reflected back towards. Absolutely. Absolutely. And so I love to empower women.
00:49:45:17 - 00:50:08:08
Unknown
I love to help women discover their gifts. And then if I have the opportunity to push them into it, I'll just I'll be the one to push them into it. So, yeah, if you're not ready, you need a push. Come to the doctor. Surely she's going to help you. Just take that plunge off the diving board into the deep end and we'll all be there to help encourage you so you don't drown, do you?
00:50:08:08 - 00:50:35:23
Unknown
Won't think? Absolutely. And for anyone that, like, just wants to connect with me personally, if you want to, like, find all like my social media platform DMS, if you want to sign up to be a guest on my podcast, or if you'd even if you just want to listen to previous episodes, you can go to my personal website at WW that Dr. Shirley HD icon and that's spelled d r s h e r l e y p hd dot com.
00:50:35:25 - 00:51:14:14
Unknown
That's so awesome. And I will make sure that we have all of that information linked included in my blog posts for the the podcast. So people will be able to find it multiple different ways. But Dr. Shirley, I am so thankful for you and your willingness to be vulnerable and share your stories so that others can be encouraged and inspired to what is possible when they surrender, when they get to the end of themselves, and they're ready to say, I need help.
00:51:14:17 - 00:51:40:26
Unknown
That is where God can show up. That is where others can show up and come alongside you, help you find your healing, and then you get to go and do the same for others. And now we're healed people healing people versus hurt people hurting people. And I am just so excited for our collaboration. I'm with you. We are not done.
00:51:40:26 - 00:52:03:26
Unknown
We are only just beginning. And so thank you for giving this time to my audience. Absolutely. Absolutely. I just want to with one line, if I was to leave one line, that kind of sums up everything, encourage someone that might be tuned in. It's to know that your pain in the hands of God becomes a platform for your purpose.
00:52:03:28 - 00:52:29:28
Unknown
So don't run from it. Can't be ashamed of it. Just give it to him and watch him turn it around, man. Man Amen. Amen. What an amazing thing. Way to summarize that. And you are living proof. I am living proof. If you are looking for more living proof like listen to my podcast. Listen to Dr. Shirley's podcast, because what we are telling you is true.
00:52:30:00 - 00:52:58:14
Unknown
And you can have this same piece in the same purpose and make a difference in the lives of your family, your community, and the nation. If you allow it. We are our own worst enemies. You got to step out of our way and let God do what He wants to do. And so thank you for that encouragement and I look forward to the next time that we we meet again.
00:52:58:16 - 00:53:01:16
Unknown
So it was been an honor. Thank you so much for having me.
00:53:02:08 - 00:53:18:16
Unknown
New podcasts every Friday. Listen and subscribe wherever you like to listen to podcasts. If you're ready to start your own transformation journey, visit w w w that it's your story to tell. Dot com.
00:53:18:17 - 00:53:48:00
Unknown
This podcast is intended only for educational, inspirational and entertainment purposes. The purpose of this podcast is not to replace the counsel of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available, call or text 988 or chat 988 lifeline dot org.
